Pop.

I say pop a lot.
It kinda means I had a thought. Like a metaphorical thought bubble.
So if I say it, I'm thinking, or I was, or I just moved from or onto a new thought.


Sometimes when I think about love, I think about how it's an illusion
but how it's so believable because of how it makes us feel.
How it hurts

Then if I'm in a deeper philosophical mood, I think about how life is exactly the same.
We're just matter, held together by atoms.
There's us, and life, and the world.
You'd think that this was all there is if we didn't know there's a universe outside of it.
But, we feel.
Pain and joy.


Then I had a really weird night, where I was tired and in the car, and I have my deeper moments while I'm driving (technically being driven)

I think about how, when I listen to music on my ipod, the feeling of the scenery outside changes. From sad, to happy, to hopeful, etc

How seasons change, and your mood with it. A cold winter morning is depressing, kinda hopeful and beautiful, but in a tragic way. And a summer afternoon its buttery relaxation, while the sun sinks, fizzing out.

How I'm in a metal cage, speeding past life.

How at night I can look up, in the middle of the countryside and see stars, millions, because there isnt any light pollution.
Stars are just like humans - they burn hot and bright, but theyre so small, and they'll burn out one day.
We have something so precious and fragile, and we'd throw it away, for love, for money, for folly.

Sometimes I see a sunset, and I stare, because I didnt realise that in real life, you could see such beautiful vivid colours, and in ENGLAND, where its all green and grey.

I thought about the prussian blue of the evening sky, and how, there was so much more outside.
If a greater creature had claws that could slice through reality if youd see the gashes in the sky, of white, or darkest black. Blacker or whiter than any of our colours.

I thought why are we here? What purpose do we serve? We're just like little bacteria, living our lives and reproducing without really knowing why.
Are we making something? And for what? Fuel? Energy? Drugs? Money?
Maybe a creature feeds off us.
Maybe if we were not here, the world would die, because we give it life, and without our hot burning life, the Earth would be a lonely empty slab of rock.

If we look at the animal world, it would seem the apex of our lives would be to reproduce.
But we humans do it different.
It's not all about new life anymore.
In fact, if I could say what humans lived for, now. I'd say pleasure.

School is so we can learn, so we can fend for ourselves in a tough world and have pleasure and safety when we're older.
People leave school for short term pleasure.
Hobbies, pleasure.
Sex, pleasure.
Shopping, pleasure

To me, love is the greatest pleasure. And I probably don't dedicate my life to love for the sake of love. It's for it's beauty and the pleasure it brings. Infinite paradise. And if love were to end, I carry on optimistic, for the hope of more love and more pleasure.

Pop.
I'm thinking too much.