Idiosyncratic.: Everything changes.

5/02/2010

Everything changes.

Okay I shall be sad and use a DISNEY quote from Bambi 2, cause I'm proud to love it.

Everything in the forest has its season. Where one thing falls, another grows. Maybe not what was there before, but something new and wonderful all the same.

(:

I've been in love before.
My heart has been broken,
And yet something new and wonderful always comes along,
As much as I hate letting go, I love what I have now,
I can't always look back.

Oscar Wilde says - "The people who love only once in their lives are really the shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, I call either the lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination."

Which is perhaps more cynical than me.

Also I'm changing, everyone changes.
There are the BIG things people do that make people see them differently, and yet essentially on the inside they are the same, just hurt, or confused, or see things differently.
And then the more subtle changes, that mean more, that make you completely different. Not better or worse, just you, but, grown up? I'm not entirely sure.

So when you're around your friends, you know your place, because such a place has been so for years. You can't remember when it wasn't like this. Peoples opinions of you are formed, but you've changed since you met, since you were friends. You just don't know how to show everyone, you're afraid to show them what the real you is, because its different, it isn't what it was. What if it doesnt fit in with where you are?
The old you is in the wings, in the minds of people who know you.
They might say ' she's weird '
Well, why?
Could they say why? When they don't even know anymore.
You realise you don't talk about what matters anymore. You talk like you're pretending to be someone else, who youre meant to be. Not as you are.

You can't shake off what you are to them, unless you leave, make it new.
But I'm scared to do that.
I don't know where I belong, when I don't know if they like who I really am, now.

2 comments:

Ducky2 May 2010 at 23:20
I don't like you, I LOVE who you are now. :) we all do so stop being a numptyhead :) <3
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Anonymous3 May 2010 at 01:32
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IcWaNLYgBE
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The boy and his falcon - One of my favourite stories.

Once there was a boy.
When the boy was six years old, his father gave him a falcon to train.
Falcons are raptors - killing birds, his father told him, hunters of the sky.
The falcon didnt like the boy, and the boy didnt like it either.
Its sharp beak made him nervous, and its bright eyes always seemed to be watching him.
It would slash at him with its beak and talons when he came near: For weeks his wrists and hands were bleeding.
He didnt know it, but his father had selected a falcon that had lived in the wild for over a year, and thus nearly impossible to tame.
But the boy tried, because his father had told him to make the falcon obedient, and he wanted to please his father. He stayed with the falcon constantly, keeping it awake by talking to it and even playing music to it, because a tired bird meant it was easier to tame.
He learned the equipment, the jesses, the hood, the brail, the leash that bound the bird to his wrist.
He was meant to keep the falcon blind, but he couldnt bring himself to do it - instead he tried to sit where the bird could see him as he touched and stroked its wings, willing it to trust him.
He fed it from his hand, and at first it would not eat. Later, it ate so savagely that its beak cut the skin of his palm. But the boy was glad, because it was progress, and because he wanted the bird to know him, even if the bird had to consume his blood to make that happen.
He began to see that the falcon was beautiful, that its slim wings were built for speed of flight, that it was strong and swift, fierce and gentle. When it dived to the ground, it moved like light. When it learned to circle and come to his wrist, he nearly shouted with delight.
Sometimes the bird would hop onto his shoulder and put its beak in his hair. He knew his falcon loved him, and when he was certain it was not just tamed, but perfectly tamed, he went to his father and showed him what hed done, expecting him to be proud.
Instead, his father took the bird, now tame and trusting, in his hands, and broke its neck.
I told you to make it obedient, his father said and dropped the birds lifeless body to the ground. Instead, you taught it to love you. Falcons are not meant to be loving pets: They are fierce and wild, savage and cruel. This bird was not tamed, it was broken.
Later when his father left him, the boy cried over his pet, until eventually his father sent a servant to take the body of the bird and bury it.
The boy never cried again, and he never forgot what he learned: that to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed.
From City of Bones by Cassandra Clare.

Idiosyncratic.

Be different.

5/02/2010

Everything changes.

2 comments:

There's so much more to me.

half / way

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too cool.

The boy and his falcon - One of my favourite stories.